20141227

How do u live? I wanna be a weird psycho star *seriously*

I'm living like a cat right now, cuz of the lack of living.
I'm so hyper, but most of the time i'm with pencil & paper, or on my laptop, but now i'm like a bear in it's den. Doing some tiny "art"...
After watching the video below, i found out that i have no obsession or something to obsessed about... Well i do art, any kind of it...
but even tho i do that, i'm not so obsessed like these people... but i think i need to... Does it possible to mechanically make yourself obsess about something??


But i thought they are better than me, for doing something till they see it's result or very tenacious & perseverance!
So i thought at least i should do my hobbies & works for the Fame! at least!
Next year i might wanna achieve to lose some weight & then abs! when i wanna wear something pretty. ( 0327150627 update: i can't believe i wrote this lmfao)

PS: That guys tights are like sooo in the anime fanart OMG! *A*)


And i need something to obsessed with!
Something to love it extremely!

20141225

Do you feel me? Do u FEEL ME?

Хэтэрхий сайхан дуу хөгжим заримдаа асар их уй гашуу, уйтгар гунигийг төрүүлэх юм ...
Ганцхан би "үүнийг" л үүнээс мэдэрч бгаа гэхээр... ямар их ганцаардал...?
*not very sad but...хэн нэг нь яг үүнийг мэдэрдэг ч болоосой...*



20141224

1224140525 Dream with 강승윤


He was Kang Seung Yoon. And his eyes looked full of lust and love towards me. And was trying to grab me and i keep slipping from him. Tried to grab my hand but i slipped away gently like an apron, curtain paying with the wind. Again he tried to hug me but i slipped away...
(Kinda like in the picture but more erotic touch >w<)
We continued playing like for a 5 or 10 min. I guess he was teasing me... *dreamy eyes* Wish it was real... There were people around us... cuz we were in the dark corner of the cafeteria. My schoolmates were sitting in round table, right side of my sight, from which i saw. I knew they're peeking at us, and i blushed. Maybe that's the reason i was keep slipping away from him, even tho we were at the corner near toilet.
He suddenly said: Do you wanna drink coffee? And led me to the toilet. But it wasn't a toilet, it was another coffee shop which i thought it was a toilet. Lol
And then i woke up! :( But i used to adore Nam Tae Hyun, but recently photos of Kang Seung Yoon took my eyes, so from now on Kang Seung Yoon is added to my eye sight *3*)

20141218

1214141938 How about some cozy feelings?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnIqLlBwzrc&list=RDnVMCUtsmWmQ&index=2

Now i suddenly think a gender is just in the outside... just a cover of it, not the inside, he/she/it might be any gender inside...

20141217

1212141659 Radioactive dream+ 1217140116 (UPDATE)


  • Before these dreams i dreamt that i got into a big fight with some people at the little dark cafe or a small restaurant, while i was waiting my order with mom, and i got argued with one of the staff, or waitress, then i saw 3 young men teasing me by words, i got really angry, and hit really hard, one in the middle from them, who was standing in the corner. After i woke up i felt that big ache in my chest, but not very painful, just bit aching. I think this dream, it might relate to my thoughts, which i really wanted to catch the thief from my classmates, which there were bunch of robbery happened, so i was researching some subjects for how to catch a thief to subjects like how to curse/torture someone by a voodoo doll... *evil laugh*
  • Radioactive dream: Cars in the night, big heavy gas cylinder truck for water, and i was going through the road, following some people, and we all run to door to go inside, before it shut us down there, we're at clinic, patients lying, i felt (saw her from another angle) grand grandma was there, looking at me, then the BOOM!, the radioactive wave goes through my whole body as i being hit by invisible massive wave...
 Dream of 1217140116
  • Izaya, stole the car, and drove, we blame her in the street, she got invisible, mom & i chased after. / Car on the road, we 3 inside the car, and Izaya behind us, smoke talking through a mic/ speaker like thing, and i tried to stab, she hissed/ grrrr-ed and smoke was coming out, i thought she's becoming human, but invisible, she tried to kill by grabbing the throat (багалзуурдсан), we couldn't drive, road is being closed by from two side, with wall...
  • Movie scene like, supernatural /or magic/ devilish movie theme, in a cold dark green coloured public bathroom,  the name is Dark, and the poster will be full of black with her eyes looking straight to the center, or white, Lana Del Rey looking woman was in the bath, just warm/ steamy water, no bubbles, in front of a man, arms wide open, she was doing a snake like moves in the water, up and down (2), last move of getting out of the water, behind her up in the corner of the room, 2 men, holding a big gun thingy, with a cold water, she only survives in the hot water, they fired at her, she can escape, cuz she's devilish/ has magic/ mythical creature, and men died exploding to the screen,
  • Wolves and dogs, in granny's backyard, and big bro Obizorik, lil bro Munkho & Sodow, asn lil sis Izaya, we're all in their left side neighbour's hashaa/ place, which was empty,
  • I entered one empty cold room in their left side neighbour's house, red outside, cold blueish inside, i said "hhhhhho~!" like frosting a window, then in response i got wolf howling noise, and there were one big whitish wolf (1st i thought it was a husky doggy) under the table near the door, after i enter her grrr-ed to me, and suddenly i got a chair in my left hand, chichleh to wolf, chair's end parts were bit bloody, suddenly the wolfy turned into a furless chicken like/ or shulsan* chicken like, bit ugh!, In some part Izaya got out with a granny's little chair and gone to hashaa in left side, after Obizorik big bro said "Okey, take them away!", i was after her, and many dogs were following her ex. black dog, i shouted to a big bro saying "there r dogs chasing her!" and thought i might bite her, while big bro was doing something like a traditional shivshleg like thing in his mouth, the other 2 was not helping much, like i was playing a RPG all by myself, and controlling them by myself, ...

  • UPDATE 1220140715
Oh Yeah! I've just remembered that there was a Slender man in my dream! *0* I didn't watch anything related to that before going to bed! That's strange...
Well 1st it all happened inside train, while it's going to somewhere.

20141211

Three Dreams 1209140824



  • Floating in the sky holding a rope hanging from dirigible, and bright light in the right, I was holding my notebook, and wearing a big headset, and suddenly noticed that why i'm I good at holding my notebook, without noticing I was floating in the sky?, and looked right, see only lights shining in the surface of the water below, with full of clouds, can't see enough, and suddenly turning corner to the left, and saw 2 water bubble slowly bubbling, like a volcano bubble, with full of chemicals, like an oil or something, looks so pinkish and grey in the lower, and there were a deck, with young fellows sitting outside of the wall or door, with a window...
  • I was talking in my dream, i thought it is kind of impossible to but I actually did!, I was talking like "am I talking in my dream? am really I talking in my dream? is it really happening?", and doing something with a shovel, and there was Taehyun in it, I guess, or am I mixing y dream with the 3rd one, lol, anyways, there were 2 guys, & we were all shoveling something, with sun was shining from the right side...
  • What was the 3rd one??

20141209

Stay GOLD! 1209141037

Stay GOLD!

This thought just crossed my mind! Which i saw it on NamTaehyun's wrist, who is a younger member of #WINNER band..
But 1st i read about being worthful person, from Amjiltiing tarni, which is written in Mongolian.

20141204

Discovered my disorders and 1003140226

Yesterday in the middle of the night while I was eating a baguette & nutella, banana shake ice-cream, 3 yoghurt I've diagnosed myself that I have an eating disorder! Especially: Night eating disorder (Willi syndrome & eating disorder)
So after reading all these, I found out that It started after my mom told me that she wouldn't buy food if I won't go to school lol. Bcuz at that time I've been in depress for like 2and a half year, skipped in-between in them, barely 3 years, I guess.

I've read from somewhere, saying that people who are more active in social communication tend to have a happy life.
So i guess i'm not "that kind" of happy person. I'm even introverted person, & have no bffs. Well i'm not a loser like they have in the States. But just some loner... But now i'm little bit sick of it tho.




Is there like.. any bad after-effects with having no much social life??
Is there any bad results for not having friends?
Is there any bad results for not being active for doing nothing much (not physically)?
And interested in topic of "Selling your soul to the devil"? (Just very curious)

Хэзээ нэгэн цагт унших цаг хугацааны гийчин чамд 110214

Зиа ямар нэгэн зүйл бичиж дотор живсэн мангасаа чөлөөлюү...

Яг одоогоор толгойноос гарахгүй бгаа зүйл гэвэл... тэр нэг орой автобусанд ангийнхаа нэг охинд амаа эргэтэл ярьж бгаад хойшоо эргэхдээ харсан царайлаг гэж ам гарахгүй ч цэвэрхээн царайтай, өндөр хамартай хөвгүүнтэй харц мөргөлдсөн. Тэгээд автобуснаас буух хүртлээ түүний нүүрийг хажуунаас нь харцаараа хэдэнтээ тууччих шиг болсон. Гэсэн ч түүний харц яаж ч дургүйцсэн эсвэл өөрөөр өөрчлөгөөгүй.
I was taking a screenshot by my eye... To draw him after got home but... i'll draw him maybe someday... if I might remember him...

Миний хувьсал 1111141919

Энэ нас, энэ тоо, энэ он их өөрчилжээ намайг. Хүн бүр хурдан том болохыг хүсдэггүй биз. Би ч бас тэдний нэг нь. Гэтэл энэ тоо хүрээд дуусах үед эртхэн мэдсэн бол хурдхан энэ үеийн ухамсарт ирээд, "том" болдог бж дээ гэж бодов...
Анх энд ирэхдээ ямар бсан би, өнөөдөр нэлээд хэдэн хугацааг элээсэн би 2ын хооронд. Өмнө нь бол болж л өгвөл "хоосон" мөрөөдөх дуртай, хэрэв саадтай таарвал үргэлж л яах гэж төрсөнөөс авхуулаад бүгдийг нэгд нэгэнгүй ухаж авч үздэг би, ерөнхийдөө дэмий л урсгалаараа, өөрийхөөрөө бх дуртай бдаг бсан би. Харин өнөөдөр автобусанд суугаад бусдын адил ажилчин шоргоолж болох замыг сонгосон би, нэг л тийм хэвийн болчихсон мэт. Арын фоонбэкграундчуудын эгнээ. Гэхдээ ихийг хийх хүсэл маань улам эрчимжсэн. Улам илүү энгийн хэрнэ гайхалтай болчихсон мэт...

Залуурчид 1111141918

Бидэнд өгөгдсөн зүйл бол удирдах. Сүнс шиг нэг нэгээрээ дарааллан зогсохдоо хэн нь энэ багаж, төхөөрөмжийг сайн удирдаж, хэн нь өөрийнхөөрөө үүгээр тоглож өнгөрөөх вэ гэдэг нь сонирхолтой санагдана. Тэр диваажингаас ирэх "хүүхдийн" цуваа. Тэд энд ирээд хэрхэн амьдрах нь тэдний даалгавар. Энэ нь маш том ярвигтай олон талтай  удирдлага заавар, хэрхэн ашиглах заавар, танилцуулгагүй ярвигтай хөдөлгүүр. Яг л нэг том роботон дотор сууж бгаа мэт...